moriarty:

me blogging

(via seedy)

jimdoesntcarrey:

hairdresser: what do you want me to do?

me: just a trim thanks

hairdresser: no problem 

me: 

(via tittytittygangbang)

dietcrackcocaine:

me: where’s the toilet?

New Yorker: take a left up over at 6th and catch the bus between 12th and 32nd. there you’ll see a hotdog cart at the corner of 53rd…you gotta go on straight past to 47th. between 8th and 34th there’s a little place, ask for Mikey, tell him I sent you an he’ll let you in aight

me: thanks. I’ll just piss in the street

(via the-yololympics)

bumbleshark:

today mom asked “did you catch any pokemon today?” and this is so surreal, never did i think i’d experience this

(via supernaturalfangrl)